Image courtesy of timscullin.com

Full disclosure: I used to send auto-DMs on Twitter (automated Direct Messages).

Using a service like Social Oomph, you can have a Direct Message fire off to any new Twitter follower you have. I sent them thinking I was actually providing value (a coupon for my funny t-shirt site, of course!). It didn’t seem to affect the popularity of my Twitter handle, but who knows? Maybe I pissed off more people than I ever realized.

The only mitigating factor was that I remained and have always been extremely active on Twitter, very communicative, always engaging. I didn’t hide behind auto-DMs – I’ll chat with most anyone. It’s easy to get to know me.

So it may seem hypocritical to ask, but why the hell are people still sending these damn things?

• Thanks for following us! How may I help you? (then you DM them back, and it’s silence – they don’t respond – I’ve had this happen so many times, and almost left it off the list. Luckily, @shonali on Twitter reminded me to include this one! Thanks girl.)
• I believe the key to success on social media is consistent posting of relevant info. Thanks for following!
• What’s been most inspiring web marketing advice you’ve heard? Would love to know more about you and your life ambitions! 🙂
• The crow flies slow over Moscow. Pass it on but don’t tell Vasily. OK? Stay alert. (Давайте перестанем говорить с ума!)
• Hi, I am a happy 24 hours mom . You can meet my baby if u want (Pass!)
• I want to offer you a free spiritual phone consultation so you can achieve your visions. Set up your appt
• R U exhausted from courtroom battles in front of a judge & lawyer negotiating with a soon-to-be-ex? See me.
• Hi, this is a automatic mail to all my followers, [web URL redacted] is where you can find my recipe posting, if you hav <——- the DM ended there!
• Thanks for follow! What are you currently working on? Maybe we can move forward together
• Hi you might like this service, it lets your Facebook friends find you on Twitter (this one takes the all-time annoyance cake. I constantly write back to people and ask “Tell me what you like best about the service.” One person has written back. Ever. Spam sucks)
• Thanks!You Can Get Paid On Twitter For Just all Of The Tweets?!Go Check Out This Link To Find Out How
• It’s amazing to hear from you…sharing with like minded people makes us all more valuable…What’s your twitter goal? 😉
• Question, Are You 100% Happy With Your Twitter Education? Look… [web URL redacted]
• Thanks, here is something really fun and totally free. It’s free dating software at [web URL redacted] (I’m married with kids. This is like shooting marketing buckshot at me)
• OMG! I really like you… come hang out with me where I spend most of my time Facebook [web URL redacted] I look forward to connecting. (It’s just weird to know that she’s sending this to everyone)
• Who said good looking means no brains? Now go out there and strut your stuff, you’ve got it all. 🙂
• Wow thanx! Look forward 2your twitts. Have u written your bucket list? Nick Halik’s Thrillionaires might get u started
• As the inventor of the phrase “social media,” I defy you to name me a panda more dialed into the digital revolution. Just try. (OK this one isn’t that bad)
• Thank you for following me, fire Your Human Article Writer And Article Submitter Guy…..
• Heya, I’m studying the social media for profit training. What are you up to?
• Hi There! Interactive, reverse marketing is my niche! Social media is what I master! Let me be of service to you. (This is a messy plate of scrambled eggs)
• Hi 😉 Nice to meet you 🙂 Add me at facebook too. 😀 (no link to her Facebook profile. Damn, I was dying to connect!)
• Hi, Thanks for following me. I am looking forward to exchanging some useful info with you. Do you have a blog or website? (Don’t be lazy – it’s right in my Twitter profile! This is a serious pet peeve of mine)
• Thanks for the follow so you are one of the in crowd too are you, you just have to twitter these days don’t you (???)
• Hi thanks for follow, we are going to have a great fan! (Yes, the fan, THE FAN!!!)
• We provide Support and Resistance PowerZones based on the confluence of volume, price, and more. [web URL redacted]. Tell me about you? (I want what they’re smoking)
• Thanks for following! Be trained to build any MLM – mentoring for free! (Is MLM a kind of sandwich?)
• And a host of DMs way too sexual to even post.

Stop the madness!!! By the way, check out this article on Tim Scullin’s site: How To Opt Out Of Annoying Twitter DMs

Also check out Sean Malarkey’s article How To Get Rid Of DM Spam On Twitter. Besides, Sean is a handsome man lol.

Truthfully, these can’t be the worst auto-DMs ever.  Please help! Leave a comment below with the very worst auto-DMs you’ve ever received!